Thursday, March 13, 2008

What is my plan?

I was optimistic going into today. I guess I should back up first and explain. I am currently teaching special education. I did not go to school to teach special education, but at the school I attended it was a requirement with the early childhood degree. Anyway since the first and only job available at the county I live in was special education, I jumped on the opportunity. I have loved my job and have learned so much about teaching. I love every student I have like they are my own and wouldn't change the time I have had. This being my third year I am ready for a regular classroom. I feel more prepared at this time in my career. So when a 4th grade job became available I talked with the principal about moving. He said he would interview me, but he liked me where I was and it would be hard to replace me. Well that is all nice, but didn't change my mind. I interviewed and waited for about a month with no word. Well this morning he finally told me the job was given to someone else and he would consider me if something else came up. I am beyond frustrated and there is a lot more to this story then I will say on here. I am only saying this on here because I need to vent. I know God has a plan that is greater than me and maybe there is something better around the corner. This is the only thing keeping me from losing it. After the talk with him this morning, I just felt sick to my stomach and doubted myself. Did he not think I was good enough? Am I not doing something I should? What did she have that I didn't? I know I have to stop beating myself up, but I just so frustrated.


Amy said...

yeah you do have to stop beating yourself up about it. Something else will come available

Kelly said...

I'm sorry you didn't get the job. You may have a special gift to work with the special ed that you never realized and that wasn't your choice of a plan for your life but maybe it's where God wants you.
Or maybe an ever better job is going to come open that will be perfect for you. Hang in there!